WTF & Update

Or, Subtitled:

What's This Thing Where My Breast Used To Be?

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The last few weeks have been interesting in terms of changes to my right breast. Specifically there is new discomfort to my muscles from my inner elbow, across my breast, and to my sternum. For example if I lie on my back I cannot open my arms outstretched without considerable discomfort. I've read radiation therapy can cause spasms, weakened and fatigability of the muscles and nerves... also fibrosis and sclerosis decreasing elasticity, shortening and contractures of tendons and ligaments. I will do what I can on my part to help combat this... and will talk to the doc on Friday about this.

There is also a firm(ish), cord like swelling from my tumor site to my nipple, and just last night noticed a larger firm(ish) swelling not far from that one. These are radiation changes no doubt, and another discussion with the doc... just to make sure. Schneikies... !

Tired.

I'm crazy tired all the time. I did some work in the yard yesterday and I always have a chair close by so if I feel like I'm going to pass out I can get to the chair before I hit the ground. I've been very short of breath the last 3 weeks or so. Just crossing the room can cause this. Fatigue? Heart function? Combination? I dunno, we'll see. Anyway, as time went on David said my time in the garden was shortening and time in the chair was lengthening. Still, I thought I did pretty well considering. My last little project was sitting down:

So, I'll just keep beebopping around and see what happens and what doc says on Friday. I see the cardiologist on Oct. 27th.

Update, Friday October 16th:

Had chemo today, the 16th. Need to check in with my radiation doctor. Apparently the breast (I say because it is now a foreign body to me) is indeed gaining some adhesions and fibrotic tissue, that cord is a tendon she could easily feel, hence, the difficulty moving that arm. Still lots of swelling too. I have a referral for some PT. That's cool.

As far as the shortness of breath, yes, fatigue, but she is withholding further judgement until I see the cardiologist... could be that too. She had me take a short walk with that little finger contraption that does the O2 Sat... that stayed good at 96, lungs sounded clear, but I was definitely gasping for air.

The struggle with depression I've been having is being this faaaaar down the road, wanting to start to build my strength and be a little more lively... and my body just won't quite let me yet. It's frustrating and I just feel so trapped at times. I know, I know... it is what it is and I need to just accept it. Well, I feel a little better in that I'm feeling a little more creative and can do some things on a much smaller scale to occupy myself with.

Here's some food for thought... imagine trying to watch a TV series, or read a book when you have short term memory loss.  Huh?  Right?  That's what I'm saying...



++ Grace Slick