Inspired

I woke up today a little inspired. The change started somewhere yesterday evening. I'll get back to this, but first...

On Wednesday I had my six-month oncology check up. Doc thought I looked great, and for the first time in two years my CBC blood work was normal. Still pending results are the Cancer Antigen, and other cancer related blood work. It was a good visit, so I'm pleased.

Meanwhile, back in Ramonaville, I've been in a little bit of a blue-funk lately. My best guess is it's all pain related. I have an inflammatory arthritis that seems to SO want to get the best of me. Head to toe, all muscles and joints, all waking hours- pain. I am daily pulling myself out of depression and crying. There is also a dear friend whose brother is losing his battle with cancer. This amped up feelings I was already having. I love her and feel her pain, I pray for her brother, and do so several times a day now, for his peace when his time comes.  

My friend Abigail has been more of a support to me than I think she probably realizes. She went to many of my chemo treatments when I first started, and we kept in regular contact throughout. I cannot possibly thank her more. We have together, lately, been exploring healthier diets in our advancing age.

Abigail urged me to watch a movie running on Netflix titled Forks Over Knives. It took me awhile, but I finally did, yesterday.

I'm now convinced. This film is a real eye-opener, and, it has the research to back it. Just know there is so much to be said here politically, yes, about food... but this blog would go on forever, and that's not what this is about.

You know that saying "sick and tired of being sick and tired?" Yep. I'm there.

I've been sputtering around for a couple of months now with an anti-inflammatory diet and slowly changing my kitchen around to healthier stock. I say sputtering because I get enthusiastic and go whole hog, then deal with cravings and fall off the wagon, which leave me feeling HORRIBLE! Just how horrible do I have to feel anyway? I can barely make it up and down stairs! I do this in the face of knowing I'm going to feel horrible! WTF?!?!?!?

I will say, and anyone who knows me has heard me say- "I don't eat my judgements." The truth is, I "try to not eat my judgments," and it works maybe 85% of the time... and working less and less...

After watching that film I called Abigail, and I said what I'm so very aware of is a need to educate myself about food and plant-based diets. I want to incorporate that and also, Paleo and Mediterranean diet. If I can, must do a lot reading first.

Side note: By the way, reading is still a challenge, these days I have to take a lot of notes as well because I still have short term memory loss and dysphagia. Yesterday I had a discussion with the pharmacist about slow roasting tomatoes and really struggled in that conversation for words. As I was leaving I wondered if the staff noticed, or she did, or did I pull it off? If I have a really bad time I just tell people, but this time, though it was a bit slow... ah, who knows! Chemo damaged my brain a little, killed my Thyroid, and FYI, I'm on a glucose watch because mine are steadily elevated for almost a year now. It is apparently not unusual to become diabetic following chemotherapy. Oh, no. Na uh.

So here I am, about to embark on a plant-based diet. The film is amazing, and just FULL of recovery stories that will astound! The urge is just do it for 2-weeks. What's to lose? For me, a lot, in the best ways. It's quite possible I may falter again, but if I do, and just so you know, those falters, or relapses will occur further and farther in-between a healthy diet.

Nothing else has worked to me in a long time. All of my diseases are auto-immune. What are the chances they are food related? 

I think pretty damn high.

'Nuff said.